If you’re new to this series, in part 1 of “F.A.F.”, your new mantra, I talked about the first “F” which stands for Forgiveness. So you’re working on forgiving others, and more importantly yourself, now what? Well, it’s time to give yourself a break and accept what IS. This is all about the “A”.
All that stuff you’ve forgiven? Now you take it one step further and accept yourself for all that you have been, all the things that brought you here to this moment in your life, and all that you aspire to be. You may not be where you want to be just yet, and that’s ok, but in order to get there you have to accept yourself as you are now. I know that seems backwards, but I promise you’ll reach your destination faster once you accept your starting point. Please recognize that what you are not doing is accepting that where you are is as far as you will get.
Acceptance and complacency are not the same.
What I’m saying is to continue to work toward your goals, but be kind to yourself in the process. Love and acceptance aren’t conditional- at least they shouldn’t be- and I would be willing to bet that you wouldn’t wait to love a friend or a partner until they lost that extra 5 pounds or reached whatever goal you’re setting for yourself, so don’t keep it from yourself in the meantime either. And quick note here- if you would withhold your love from someone in your life in any of those cases, you’re an asshole and have way more work to do than we can address here today. Moving on…
Acceptance of the person that you are right now also means accepting the situation you are in right now to some extent.
Let go of what WAS, and accept what IS, so you can move forward to all the amazing things that WILL BE.
This one is tough and I personally struggle with this one from time to time too, so I am aware of how difficult it can be, but I also recognize that by holding on to the past, we block ourselves from moving forward- from change and growth. We can’t see the open doors in front of us because we are constantly looking behind us at what we are leaving behind, or we are so focused on what is wrong with our current situation because of our past decisions instead of what is right. On the other hand, if we are too focused on the future we lose sight of possibilities, get too attached to a plan and don’t recognize better options for what they are when they present themselves.
I struggle when I feel like I don’t have a solid plan. While I am never overly attached to the plans I make because things never go as planned, I still always have one. I organize, plan, schedule, budget, research- that’s who I am, that’s what I do- but there isn’t a single thing that I can plan for at the moment and I have to be ok with that. I know that’s the lesson I am meant to learn right now. I have to see what is right, right now. And if I take the time to really look at it, my current situation isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination. I have everything that I need, and have no honest reason to complain. What I am missing, though, are the things I want to create the life I want for myself, and accepting that is tough at times. However, I am fully aware that where I am right now is necessary for the time being, and if I am unable to find a way to accept that, I’m going to be so clouded with discontent that I will never get out of it. Even worse, I’ll miss all the amazing gifts along the way, and it is those gifts that are going to get me to the life I really want.
I am learning to trust the uncertainty, and not just trust it, but to embrace it because I do know that in uncertainty, possibilities are endless. The world is truly my oyster as it is yours, even if you can’t see it right now. And to be honest, that in itself can be overwhelming. Having unlimited options can be slightly terrifying. You start to ask yourself- “what if I make the wrong choice?” Then I remember, and I give this as a reminder to you-
If you are following your heart and walking in acceptance- there is no wrong choice.
If you keep your eyes and heart open to what is right in what IS, love will guide you through all of the possibilities to the path that is right for you and WHAT WILL BE will be nothing short of amazing. It’s one step at a time, one day at a time. There is a quote I love and it says
“you don’t take the baby steps for the distance they cover, but to get yourself within reach of life’s magic.”- Mike Dooley
Trust the process, accept it… and start having some fun!