I started this blog almost exactly 11 months ago, and last week was the first week I’ve missed in all of that time. It was weird, and honestly really frustrating to feel like I just didn’t have anything left in the tank, but it had to be done. I promised myself that I would never force it- that if I had nothing to say, I wouldn’t make myself talk. I never wanted this to feel like yet another obligation or job. I just wanted something to enjoy. So I honored that.
I work full-time, am in school full-time working toward my Masters in psychology, along with working out and trying to eat right, my relationship, and all the other people and things I need to put my energy into in my life, which now includes getting used to a kitten I found in my car engine after a 50 mile road-trip. (The kitten was unscathed, thank God, and now is the new addition to my family). With all of that said, it makes sense that sometimes something’s gotta give. This time, it was my blog posting.
I was so worried about what that would mean for me after successfully juggling all of this for so long to admit that maybe I couldn’t. Or more importantly, that I didn’t want to for a minute. I’m sure I could have blasted something out, but my heart wouldn’t have been in it so then what would I have been doing it for? But would I be a failure if I didn’t? Would I be letting myself down?
I think too often we put so much pressure on ourselves to maintain a level of productivity that is not only unrealistic, but unhealthy, because we are so afraid of what it may mean if we don’t. What will people think?
Honestly… who cares?
I’m only a failure if I decide my worth is tied to that activity. And I have decided that it’s not.
I’m only letting myself down if I have completely lost perspective of what else I have going on in my life, and make myself do it anyway. And I chose not to. I get to decide; it’s my choice.
If we do not honor ourselves- our need for rest, our need to regroup, our need for a break- only then are we failing or letting ourselves down. Everything else comes second to what our bodies and minds really need because only after our needs are fully met can be we truly present for others.
I’m bringing this up because, as I’m sure everyone is aware, the holiday season is upon us. It’s supposed to be a time of joy, family, love, warmth, and all things beautiful in this world. And yet more often than not these days, it’s become a time of stress. And I’m going to say- don’t let it. Make the choice that honors your needs and the rest will sort itself out. Don’t overextend yourself out of obligation (that you’re probably putting on yourself), and instead be true to what feels good for you. At least then you know everything you do is honest and real. Enjoy the holiday season the way it’s meant to be and take the stress out of it. I know it’s easier said than done, but it just takes a little practice and one baby step at a time.