And then one day…. I woke up.

I have spent way too much of my time in this life comparing myself to others. I have always been what Liz Gilbert calls a “hummingbird” or what I heard another speaker call a “multipotentialite.” I develop an interest in something, dive in gung-ho and then within what seems like a short amount of time to some and an eternity to me- I am over it and ready to move on to the next thing. I do understand that there are drawbacks to this. For example, my resume, though very well-written and put together, is not the ideal to say the least. I’m not getting any younger and this comes with a stigma when you are not in a “solid” profession. But what I take away from the experience is so much better and far outweighs the cons. The main pro is a broader knowledge base and skill set. I can do just about anything at this point with proficiency and I feel pretty amazing because of that. I have become a master at being a jack of all trades. I could literally take any road that presents itself to me because chances are I have some semblance of a background in it somewhere. The world is my oyster as they say. Though I didn’t always see it this way.

For the longest time, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I have friends that have known what they wanted to do since birth and have pursued those dreams, which is amazing and I applaud them for what they have accomplished. And I know others who fell into something somewhere along the line and have forced themselves to remain in that for years, no matter how miserable it makes them and I am sad for them. I have never been someone who would do that to myself.

I have been continually told that fear was holding me back from pursuing my dreams and passions, when in reality that’s not the case at all. It would only be fear that would make me remain in something that didn’t make me happy. What I have come to realize is that my ability to adapt, to take risks, to try new things, to continually grow- scares the very people that are telling me I’m afraid. So let me clear something up…

I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE!!

The idea of spending my days the way most people do makes me want to throw myself off of very tall things, or shoot sharp things through my face. I am ecstatic for those people that want that and are loving the life they are living, but personally, I’ve done it and I hate it. It’s not for everyone and it’s time that others started to accept that. We are all different and that’s what makes this world beautiful.

Passion looks different to me. My dreams are different. They are not less than, just because they do not surround work. I took part in a webinar the other day that asked me what I really believe about success and career. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about it and here is what I came up with:

Success- I honestly believe that the less time I spend working, the more successful I am. Not because I’m lazy, because I’m definitely not. When I work, I work hard and I do believe in hard work, but it has to have a purpose for me. It’s not because I have a great deal of money and don’t need to work because that is definitely not the case either, but I am willing to stretch every dollar, living as frugally as necessary if it means not spending the majority of my day working because then that means I’m spending my time doing things that make me happy instead of behind a desk at a computer or any other work-type activity. Being in an office for 8 hours makes me feel like I’m wasting my life away and I’m being suffocated. I don’t care how much money it brings into my life- it isn’t worth it and that is not what success looks like for me. If I am happy, surrounded in love by friends and family, and have enough to pay my bills then I have achieved tremendous success.

So what does that mean in terms of my career?

Career- Throughout my entire life I have never once been able to provide a solid answer for what I wanted to be when I grew up, and once I examined my beliefs surrounding success, it finally made sense. The thought of a career brings about the thought of my life as it pertains to work. That’s disgusting to me. I have never wanted my life to be defined by work, run by my position or title, or given “worth” by what I do to pay bills. It has always been my philosophy that I work to live, not live to work. Work is just a means to an end, which is play. My job is to live life to the fullest, to love as much as I can whenever I can, and take advantage of the opportunities that arise to do so. It may not be a glamorous title, but it’s the only career that appeals to me.

Again, this is just me.

This is me learning about myself which is my purpose here. I have embarked on a journey where I have asked myself to take apart my statements and beliefs and really examine them for the truth beneath them. This is just one more facet of that. It has been very frustrating over the years feeling like I missed the “passion” boat somewhere along the line because I have been unable to find that one thing that lights me up for a career. It was time I really took a look at my goals in this area and what it really looks like for me. I want to feel love, joy, happiness, and peace. I don’t need a career for that and feeling those things is what a successful life looks like to me. My passion is for life and experience. Work just provides the means to pursue it.

I’m not telling anyone to go quit their job, but I am suggesting that you ask yourself the same questions. What do you really believe about success and career? What does that look like to you? Whatever goals you have- why do you have them- are they really your goals or did someone else put them on you, and what is the real feeling you are trying to get from it? There may be an alternative route to achieving it. There is never only one way to get somewhere.

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