I’ve been pondering and writing a great deal about letting go and recently I was sent an email that asked the question “what if you forgot everything that happened?” Basically asking how our lives would be different if we could just forget all the stuff that’s happened to us over the years: the heartbreaks, the failures, etc. But I didn’t connect to this question, I really didn’t. I mean at first I was like “yeah! That’s awesome!” but then on further reflection I came to the conclusion that what has happened to me over the years isn’t my problem. My problem has always been the stuff that didn’t.
What I have been forgiving myself for, and letting go of, are all the things I didn’t do: choices that I didn’t make, opportunities that I missed or let slip by, things I didn’t say. I don’t regret a single thing that HAS happened to me. I’m proud of the person I’ve become, the obstacles I have overcome, and all the things that have made me who I am. It’s all of those things that have blessed me with the insight and wisdom that makes me capable of helping others. When I look back on my life, I don’t think about wanting to go back in time to avoid any of those things; I want to go back to add to them. There are so many experiences and chances that I didn’t take, usually out of fear of some kind, and those are the things I always think about going back to change.
It was interesting coming to this realization, wondering how my life would be different if I would have made all the choices that seemed so risky at the time, but now seem so perfect. What I’m learning from this is luckily what I’ve committed myself to over these past few months-
Say “yes” to chances and opportunities. Explore the fear and put it back in its place. Because ten years from now I’m not going to regret things I did, I’m going to regret things I didn’t do. Isn’t it worth trying? What have you got to lose? I am putting the past behind me because honestly, what purpose does it serve now? But I’m not in the market for forgetting all the things that have happened to me that made me who I am, but instead I will be forgetting to be upset at myself for all the things that didn’t.